Day 4

I'm glad I wasn't thrown into this lifestyle of being home all the time and suddenly homeschooling my kids with no forethought or preparation.  I've done this for years.  I knew I wanted to homeschool before we even had kids. Sarah taught me that it's not necessarily the best option all the time for every child, so we adjusted and adapted.  She needs all that social interaction that public school offers her.  She thrives on all that activity and likes to be booked up and busy with social activities in every free moment. Now she's back in the fold of family and homeschooling, and though she's not thrilled,  at least it feels familiar to her and to me.  I know how to do it, and now that I understand her better, I know how to do it better for her.  I know I have to give her lots of time, attention, and interaction, even though everything in me cries out for the opposite.  I can do it, because I know it's not going to be for the rest of her school career, but probably only for the rest of this school year, which is not really that long.

We're back to the daily whiteboard schedule, which keeps us moving toward things we should do, and also reminds us what day it is.  I remember this feeling from a decade ago when I was home with little kids all day.  It's easy to wake up and spend a good five minutes trying to figure out what day it is when the calendar looks the same (blank) every day. I actually much prefer it this way.  The crazy busyness is not my thing.  I remember just two Saturdays ago, we were so overbooked that I was stressed about how we were going to manage it all.  Most everything on the calendar since then has been crossed out, which to me is a beautiful sight.

I understand that the extroverted, fast-paced people are in distress about having to stay home in isolation, and I know that parents who have always sent their kids to school are uncomfortable with the situation we're currently in, and I feel bad for being so happy.

Sarah is working on a project that makes her happy, painting the stairs.

Shiloh is also working on a project that makes her happy, one that I would also enjoy, but I have other things to do.

Noah is working with Brad again today, which is a blessing. It gives him the chance to do something productive (he likes to work), make money (he likes money way too much), and his absence lets me give Sarah more of that social interaction she craves.

It's raining, and storms are predicted this afternoon, which also makes me happy. It's going to be a good day.

Later in the afternoon....
Sarah: Do you still have that junky old calculator in the school drawer?
Me: Yes.
S [from the couch]: Can you hand it to me, please?
M: Where is the multimillion dollar fancy schmancy calculator I had to buy you for school?
S: In my room.
M: Why don't you use that?
S: I'll have to eventually, but this is just my personal rebellion right now.

This is the kind of little thing that I just let go.  Let her have her little personal rebellion if it makes her feel in control

And later in the evening...
Sarah: Noah, you're lucky you're doing real things and you don't have to do honors chemistry.
Noah: Honors chemistry is real too, unless this is all a simulation, which is entirely possible.

Day 3

Noah is working with Brad Lamprecht today, remodeling a house.
Sarah and I had a fun morning.  She listened while I read a picture book and devotional. We took personality tests and discussed our personality traits. Then we played Wii Fit until the battery died.  Haven't done that for a long time.

Noah got home, and the three of us cooked and had a nice chat. I played (and sang loudly) one of our old favorite VBS CDs, and nobody complained about it.  Noah said, "Hey, I remember that song!"  We had a few moments of silliness.

I did a little transcription work, and Sarah did a little school work.  We didn't accomplish a lot, but it was a good relational day.  I want them to remember a happy, normal-as-possible atmosphere during this time.

Tonight is our first virtual youth group meeting.  Hopefully all my youths will show up (online).

Day 2 of isolation

I'm going to try to write every day. Someday I'll want to remember what life was like during this time. President Trump is now telling us not to gather in groups of more than 10.  My Bible study is tonight, but there are only 6 of us in it, and after consulting with the church office, I decided to go ahead with it. One lady said she won't come, which I totally understand, but I think the rest are coming. [update: another one just dropped out.]

Under the circumstances, I would have voted by mail this year, but since it is Noah's first opportunity to vote, I wanted to show him what it's really like, so I will take him to vote in the Primary with me this morning. Then we will pick up the free lunch for the kids at the high school. They are giving a free lunch to all kids every day, regardless of schooling status or financial need.  Based on the empty shelves I saw at Kroger last night, it wouldn't be a bad idea.

I'm re-instituting the whiteboard where I used to write our daily schedules.  Now that they're older (and one of them is an actual adult), the choice is theirs, but this is what I will encourage them to do today.  It's a lovely spring day today, and the birds are busy mating, so I hope to spend some time just sitting outside watching them.

[Update: They did both come to devotions this morning.]

God spoke to me this morning through my cats, as He often does.  I watch them fall from all kinds of places, and they always land on their feet.  God told me that even though we as a country and even a world are falling right now, we will land on our feet.  He's got us.

Every day, something else gets canceled, which I'm secretly happy about.  I've always been a homebody.  Today the cancellation notifications included: church for at least the next two weeks, the Kuk Sool Won tournament in St. Louis, a crafternoon with the church ladies, and youth group for at least the next two weeks.

This just in:

The Great Pandemic

We are living in strange times right now. I've never experienced anything like it.  We first heard about the corona virus when we were getting ready to go to Florida in January.  It was in China, and we didn't think it would affect us at all.  Now it's here, and the shelves are empty, and almost everything is cancelled or closed.

The governor required all public and private schools to close for at least the next two weeks (I predict they won't open for the rest of the school year).  Since Noah is a senior, and we can see the finish line, I'm especially thankful that he's homeschooled, so we can just continue on with his work as usual.  He has only four classes to finish.  Today we found out that his internship is also cancelled for two weeks, which will give us extra time to work on the academics. We introverts are perfectly happy being home, so being confined is no problem for us.

Sarah, on the other hand, is very sad.  She likes getting out of the house and being with people, so she likes going to school.  She misses making the announcements every morning and singing with her choir and B Naturals groups.  She was also in her second year of track, and this was her first season as a high jumper and long jumper.  All practices and indoor track meets have been cancelled.  She was very excited to have gotten a part in the spring musical ("Big Fish") too.  She was a singer, tap dancer, and even had a speaking part as "Lady with Orange Cat".  They were practicing every day, and now she despairs of ever being able to perform it. She's in winter color guard, and they've put in a lot of hours of practice for their big performance, which probably won't happen now.  Also, yesterday she turned 16.  She moaned, "I don't want to spend my 16th birthday quarantined and surrounded by toilet paper!" (There is a curious lack of toilet paper in all the stores, for some reason, but I always have an ample stash). Aunt Kathy was in town and had planned to take Sarah shopping and spend time with her on her birthday, but the CDC is telling us all to stay home and practice "social distancing" in order to prevent the spread of the virus.  All this piled up on Sarah and made her cry.

We tried to make her birthday as special as possible.  Our church was the only one in the whole town that wasn't cancelled, so we went to church and then we took Sarah and a friend (Krystle) out to lunch at Sarah's favorite place, Lin's Buffet. I'm glad she got to do that, because the governor has since required the closure of restaurants. We gave her some gifts and my mom made her a cake.  She seemed happy and said she had a good day.

The only thing Noah is sad about is the lack of sports.  All sports are cancelled and baseball season is delayed.  This would be a dream come true for me if Noah wasn't so disappointed about it.  Mike still has to go to work, so he's the only one leaving the house.

So here we are, the three of us together all day long, just like it used to be.  The only difference is that now we really can't go anywhere.  I'm working on getting our new schedule running so we don't just sit around at loose ends all day.  I gave an inspirational speech today about how we can look at this time as an opportunity to start some new good habits.  I said I personally am going to try to stop overeating, because it's not responsible to eat more than necessary, especially at a time like this. And I'm going to try to eat healthier to boost my immune system.  I'm hoping to brainstorm with them about achieving  daily goals in several areas: mental (school work), physical (going for a walk outside, ideally, or at least getting some form of exercise), spiritual (we used to have devotions every morning; hopefully they'll still be willing), cleaning (clean/organize some little area every day).

I did regular school work with Noah this morning while Sarah slept late.  I made apple pie oatmeal for breakfast and bean/quinoa/vegetable soup for lunch.

But then I had a piece of birthday cake, so I'm already not doing it perfectly.  Sarah taught me a Tik Tok dance (I don't even really know what that is, but I played along).

We played volleyball in the kitchen with Sarah's birthday balloon, and the kids somehow rammed their toes into each other's toes and both yelled "Ow!" and started blaming each other.  I had a flashback of the horrible times when they were both crying at the same time. Fortunately they didn't cry this time.  Sarah kept talking about going to "the bank" to deposit her birthday money, and I kept correcting her by saying it's not a bank; it's a credit union. As a former credit union employee, I know how sensitive they are about that terminology.  After at least the third time she said "bank", Noah said, "If you say 'bank' one more time...."  He didn't finish that sentence, at least not that I heard.  Another lowlight from our first day of isolation: I spent a lot of time cleaning up after Sarah, and I made an extra effort to be gracious, but I couldn't sustain it.  Finally I gave her lecture about how she has to clean up after herself, ending with, "This is not a castle, and you are not a princess, and I am not your maid."

Since I'm sure this is going to be a memorable time in history, I'm including some documentation below.

Lines at Costco. Limit of 2 packages of water bottles and paper towels.  The toilet paper was long gone.  People were pushing and yelling. 

Line to get out of Costco. Parking lot was full. Only four carts left when I got there.  They were handing out plastic gloves at the door.

Empty shelves at Aldi.  

Day in the life

In case I wonder years from now what my life was like at this stage, here's a rundown of a somewhat typical day. 

7:00 a.m. Mike leaves for work and drops Sarah off at school on the way.
7:15 a.m.  Noah leaves for his internship at Otto Baum Construction.  They're working on demolishing and remodeling the old Chase Bank Building downtown.
7:30 a.m. I leave for my water fitness class at Impact Fitness, followed by a stop at Kroger.
10:00 a.m.  Noah hauls in the groceries and we eat breakfast and chat while I work on Mike's contribution to his work potluck tomorrow.  Then I made soup for later and swept the kitchen floor. 
11:00 a.m. Worked through a rather frustrating trigonometry lesson with Noah, then civics and English before he declared he was grouchy and disappeared to take a nap. Sarah had early dismissal, followed by track practice. 
1:30 p.m.  Picked up Sarah from track. She ate some soup. I went through emails, worked on our schedule for a very busy Saturday coming up, and registered Noah for his upcoming Kuk Sool Won test.
2:30 p.m. Took Sarah to the pediatrician for her sports physical.  She's 5'6", 128 pounds, and perfectly normal and healthy. She had her first breast exam and didn't like it one bit. While we were on the subject, I explained to her what a speculum is, in preparation for future visits. She definitely doesn't like the idea of that.
3:30 p.m. Sarah and I dropped off soup at Mike's parents' house, and Sarah took Molly for a walk.
4:00 p.m. Dropped off Sarah at the high school for play practice.  She's in the spring musical "Big Fish".  I came home and got a little transcription work done.
4:30 p.m. Mike home from work.
5:30 p.m. Mike picked up Sarah from practice.
6:15 p.m.  Kids and I are leaving for youth group at church.
9:00 p.m. Home from youth group, and I am done.  Making my list of things I didn't get done today that will now go on tomorrow's list: laundry, Bible study, unload dishwasher, wash soup pot.

feelings vs. obedience

I went to the Riverplex with my mom yesterday, and in the locker room we encountered a young mom with a little girl who looked like she was about two years old.  Mommy said it was time to go swimming, but Little Girl was resisting, whining and saying she wasn't going.  They argued back and forth a bit, with LG insisting she doesn't want to get her toenails wet.  I looked at her toenails, thinking they must be painted and sparkly, but no.  They're just regular, naked, healthy-looking toenails.  Mommy seemed to think that was a perfectly reasonable argument, so she and LG just sat down on a bench in the locker room to wait.  My mom said to LG, "Are you going swimming?" and LG's mommy answered, "We'll get there eventually.  She's just having some feelings right now." 

I thought to myself, "Feelings! About toenails?"  I thought what I did when my toddlers acted like that.  They didn't dictate our plans and activities with their feelings.  I insisted on obedience.  We're going swimming now, because I'm the mom and your job as the child is to trust that I know what I'm doing and obey me. Your toenail feelings are irrelevant.  If you sit down and refuse to move, I'm bigger than you, so I will gently but firmly move you.

Not this young mommy.  She calmly sat there chatting with LG about how they only have a certain amount of time to be here, so the more time they spend in the locker room, the less time they have to swim. In about two minutes, LG decided she was now ready to swim, happily took Mommy's hand, and off they went. 

My toddlers might have still been disgruntled and unhappy two minutes after my obedience lesson. I remember one instance where I battled 18-month-old Noah for an entire afternoon until he obeyed. I wonder how much differently it would have turned out if I would have let him examine his feelings about wanting to pick up his toys. I once dragged a kicking, screaming Sarah out of a store, because she had feelings about wanting something I had said no to.  Maybe that young Mommy is doing it right. Well, too late for my kids now.  They're already ruined.  I did what I thought was best at the time.

Surviving attacks

I did the closed captioning for a video about self-defense, and I wanted to try out what I learned, so said to Noah, "Choke me."  He was reluctant. I told him I needed to see if this move worked. He said, "How do you want me to choke you? Gently? Hard? From the front? From the back?"  I told him to choke me hard from the front.  So he did.  Wow, that was an eye opener.  I was completely powerless, because I didn't have time to get into my stance and prepare for my big move, so I just crumpled in a breathless heap and whimpered.  My attacker felt bad.  I told him to choke me more slowly and gently and give me time to get ready.  He did.  I executed my move perfectly and felt tough.  Ten minutes later, he felt bad because my neck was still red.  I told him not to feel bad because I learned some important things.

Then he told me I should just carry a gun and learn to shoot.  I told him that will certainly not happen. I would end up doing something stupid by accident, like maiming myself or killing an innocent bystander.  He said, "A gun would come in handy, even if a bear or a rabid dog was coming at you."  I decided to practice my defense techniques in a bear attack situation.  Shadow was walking by, so I said, "Pretend Shadow is a bear."  I curled up on the floor and pretended to be dead. Shadow came over and flopped down next to me and purred.  I said, "See?  I don't need a gun."