Hooray for the Police!

We went to a visitation tonight. That reminds me of something else, so I'm going to interrupt my story already....

Sarah was playing with a little gold bead the whole time we were in line. When we got up to the front of the line, she dropped it, and of course it rolled right under the casket. She started crawling under to get it right at the time when she was supposed to be saying her rehearsed line: "I'm sorry for your loss." Mike made her stand up and say her line, and then she went right back to focusing on her own loss. I ended up dragging her out from under the casket.

But back to my original story.... The line moved slowly, so when I left the visitation I only had five minutes to get to my harp teacher's house all the way across town, so I was speeding. Not just a little speeding, but a good 20 mph over the limit. I also hadn't taken the time to put on my seatbelt. Mike was taking the kids home in the van, and I was driving his car. My purse (with driver's license) was in the van. I was so focused on my rush to get there that I was only vaguely aware of the flashing lights in my rearview mirror. They followed me all the way down Jefferson Street before they finally registered in my consciousness and caused me to think, "What IS that annoying flashing?" As soon as I looked in the rearview mirror, I knew I was in major trouble. Speeding, no seatbelt, no license, and he had to chase me a long distance before I stopped.

There he was shining his flashlight at me and asking if he could see my license. I dumbly said, "No." He said, "You don't have a license, or you don't have it with you?" I wanted to say, "It's in my safe minivan, which I always drive very slowly when my kids are with me," but I didn't think he'd believe that I'm the one who ALWAYS sets my cruise control at 50 mph on the interstate, and the one time I break the law in four different ways, I get caught. So I just said I didn't have it with me. He took my name and date of birth and went to his car to look me up while I scrounged around for the insurance card he'd asked me to produce. To my absolute amazement, he showed mercy. Instead of writing me a whole slew of tickets, he told me to be more cautious and have a good night!

I got home in time to tell my kids a great bedtime story about God's mercy on us by not giving us the punishment we deserve, as reflected by a very kind police officer.

Kid-isms

Our kids are old enough now that they rarely make funny word mistakes anymore, but today, they make three of them:
1) Noah was watching me make tortilla rollups. He asked me if he could have one, and I told him they were for Daddy's potluck at work tomorrow. He said, "What pothole?"
2) Mike asked me, "What's in this Pyrex?" and Noah said, "What pirate?"
3) Noah and Sarah were having yet another stuffed animal wedding, and Mike (the minister) asked which one was the groom. Sarah said, "The mouse is the broom."

Snow

Sarah coined a phrase awhile ago that we're now all using. She calls snow pants with the overall straps "snoveralls".
Today we were outside in the snow again. Noah was looking closely at an undisturbed section of level snow. He stared at it a long time and then said, "Come and look at these tracks in the snow!" I went over to see, and there was, of course, nothing. I said, "What tracks?" and he said, "Don't you see those tiny, tiny tracks?" There was absolutely nothing there, so I was trying to figure him out, and he said conspiratorially, "They're snowflake tracks."

Legumes

I don't like many members of the legume family. In fact, I even dislike the word "legume". Nevertheless, I was roasting some chickpeas this afternoon, because Noah has always liked them. As he was crunching away on them, Sarah asked him what he was eating. He said, "Chickpeas. Here, try one." She tried it, spit it out, and declared, "I don't like chicken peas."

Hot Water

Noah had just finished eating and came over to the sink where I was washing dishes. He asked if he could rinse his hands off in my dishwater, and I said yes. He put his hands in and jerked them right out and exclaimed, "How can you stand such hot water?! You are the bravest woman in the world!" It reminded me of being in that same position as a kid and thinking the same thing about my mom. She would crank the faucet all the way to the left to get the hottest water and then plunge her hands right into it and wash the dishes. I used to think she was a superhero with hands covered in some material other than skin.

Personalities, Part 2

I asked the kids what they would take with them if they were going to a deserted island and could only take 5 things. Their responses were very revealing of their personalities. Noah took about 10 minutes to answer, and of course there were questions involved. He said, "First I would take God. Do I have to count that, since He's always with me anyway and doesn't take up any space?" I said he didn't have to count God. Then he said, "I would take food, water, Barney (his security item), a blanket, and a pillow. No, wait. I guess I don't need to take water, because there will be water all around, but it will be salt water so I'll have to boil it, so I better take some matches to start a fire. OK, so I'll take food, matches, Barney, a blanket, and a pillow. Oh, but my food would run out pretty quickly, and I guess I don't really need to bring that anyway since I can find food and cook it on my fire. Take off food and add a cooking pot instead." He was satisfied with that for awhile, but then he said, "I won't really need a blanket if I have a fire, and I could use Barney for a blanket if I had to, so I'm not taking the blanket. I'll take a fishing pole instead. Well, if I don't need a blanket, I sure don't need a pillow. I'll just make a pillow out of sand. I guess I only need to take four things. Oh no, hang on...how am I going to make fire if I don't have wood? Will there be trees on the island?" I told him there would be trees. He said, "I'm taking a cooking pot, matches, Barney, a fishing pole, and an ax." He smiled triumphantly. Sarah had been listening with amazing patience the whole time, so I thought her list would be influenced by his. But no. When I asked her what she was taking, she said, "I'm taking One Blanken and Two Blanken (security items), my Webkinz bluejay, water, and a pillow. Now let's go play!"

The Bathroom Is Clean!

Not blog-worthy for most people, but a big accomplishment for me. Even though I'm surrounded by great cleaners and organizers (my parents, in-laws, and son), none of it has rubbed off on me. This morning I put the kids in the tub with shaving cream, squirt bottles, and food coloring and let them make a huge mess so that I would be forced to clean it afterwards. Just one of the little tricks I have to play on myself to get motivated to clean the bathroom.