The pediatrician's office

I took Sarah to the pediatrician's office for an unbloggable reason.  I very rarely go there, so it seems that whenever I do, they've just upgraded to some new "system" that requires me to fill out new forms and/or answer a slew of questions when we arrive. I signed in with the receptionist, and she started clicking on her keyboard and asking the questions.

"Are you still married to Michael?"
"Yes."
"And does he live with you?"
"Yes." That's an odd question.
"Does he still work at CEFCU?"
"Yes."
"Which one?"
"The one by the airport in Peoria." Why does that matter?
"And do you work?"
What is this weird feeling washing over me?  Shame?  I know I have an important job, and I love it, so why am I ashamed to admit to this woman that I don't receive a paycheck or contribute to Social Security?  Maybe it's because I haven't brushed my hair today.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've even brushed my teeth...
"DO YOU WORK, MA'AM?" she asks, louder this time.
"No," I mutter.  The woman behind me is well put together, looks like a high powered executive on her lunch break.  She's probably brushed her teeth twice already today. 
"Race?"
"No."  I race my kids to the car when we come out of Walmart, but I haven't run a 5K or anything.
"I mean, nationality?" 
"Oh. Caucasian."
She glances down at Sarah, who is swinging her leg around like a monkey and picking her nose, obviously bored silly. "I mean SARAH'S nationality."
"Oh.  Right.  She's Korean."
Several questions later, the interrogation was finally over.

After waiting in the play area with five kids coughing all over mine, we were called to the exam room.  When the nurse came in, Noah and Sarah were both unusually quiet.  The nurse must have gotten the impression that they were shy, so she tried to draw them out with a small-talk question.  The poor woman wasn't aware that you don't ask Sarah a question if you don't have 30 minutes to listen to her rambling response, most of which will have nothing to do with the question.
"Have you been playing in the snow?" was all it took to get them started talking, both at the same time.  Noah answered the question with a few details, but Sarah went off on a long tangent that I had to cut short.

Having learned her lesson, the nurse got to the point:  "Does anything hurt?"  Sarah thought for a second and then held up her pinky finger, pointed at absolutely nothing on it, and said, "I have a little cut on this finger.  I don't really remember how I got it, but it hurts really bad, and when we get home, I'm going to ask Mom for a bandaid, because it could start gushing blood and then...."
I cut her off again.

Eventually I had to take her down the hall to extract a urine sample.  I left Noah in the exam room, and held the cup under Sarah while she peed all over me.  I don't work??  I'm working harder than I ever did when I "worked"!

Nocturnal mystery

When I woke up, Mike peered at my cheek and said, "There's something on your face." (when we were newlyweds 13 years ago, it would have been, "Good morning, honey.  You look beautiful.")  I groggily looked in the mirror and thought a big melanoma had somehow appeared overnight.  I leaned closer and discovered that it was a blob of chocolate, plastered onto my cheek.  In my early morning fog, I tried to remember what I did last night...I'm sure I didn't consciously eat any chocolate, so I must have eaten it in my sleep.  And apparently with some degree of abandon, since it was nowhere near my  mouth. 

Later I was snuggled up with the kids in my bed, and Sarah was eating a chocolate chip granola bar.  I watched a chocolate chip fall off the bar and land on my pillow, and suddenly the mystery was solved. 

Pipe dreams

We watched a show about all the available cheap houses in foreclosure in Florida, which inspired me to look some up online.  There are some amazing deals out there.  Mike and I fantasized about buying a $65,000 house that was built in 2005 and is five miles from the beach.  We talked about it all night like we were really going to do it, but then the practical realities began to set in, and we realized it was yet another on our long list of pipe dreams.

Then I started searching totally outrageous real estate and found a set of four islands for sale off the coast of Florida.  For a mere 18 million dollars, we could own an entire island, plus the house on it, and all the neighboring islands.  I slipped into a lengthy fantasy about that  After some more research, I found that if we put down a 3.7 million dollar downpayment, our monthly mortgage payments would be $87,000 per month for the next 30 years. 

Tissue anyone?

 

Mike was telling us about a preview for a new game show.  The contestant had to get all the tissues out of a box in less than one minute, using only one hand.  Of course the kids wanted to try that.  We started the timer, and tissues went flying.  It took a lot longer than a minute to gather them all up and count them.  Noah got 141.  Sarah was disqualified for using two hands, grabbing more than one tissue at a time, and ripping them. 

 

                                                        Sarah with the gathered up pile.

Science experiments

 

 We have a book of science experiments, and I told the kids that they could each choose one to do today.  Sarah picked chromatography, because she knew there was food coloring involved.  She mixed some red and green food coloring together and put a drop on a strip of paper towel.  Then she hung it over a cup of salt water and watched the colors separate.

 

Noah chose an experiment about capillary action, because it involved defying gravity.  He put one end of paper towel strip in a bowl of water, and taped the other end to the rim of a tall cup.  Then we watched the water climb up the paper towel and talked about how the paper towel is made of tiny wood fibers.

Sleeping arrangements

We have a box of interesting questions next to the kitchen table.  Sometimes during meals we pull some out and discuss them.  Today at lunch, the question was: If you could sleep in a different place each night, what seven places would you select?

My list:
1. Montana
2. Colorado
3. Australia
4. California
5. Hawaii
6. A deserted island in the South Pacific
7. heaven (OK, I didn't think of that; I stole it from Noah)

Noah's list:
1. in the top bunk in Florida
2. with Sarah, as long as she's not wearing a diaper
3. with Mom
4. on the car
5. inside a rifle barrel
6. heaven
7. on a big plate of mac & cheese and lasagna

Sarah's list:
1. with Dad
2. on a bed of popcorn
3. on 2Blanken on the floor
4. heaven (again, stolen from Noah)
5. on a water bottle, because I'd be thirsty from all that popcorn
6. in a bag of clementines or inside a cantaloupe
7. with Noah

Notice I was the least creative. Feel free to post a comment with your own list.

All about Sarah

Sarah had to fill out a form at CBS called, "All About Me".  Here's what she wrote:

Name:  Sarah
Nickname: Sarah Bear
Grade: K
My best friend:  Noah
My favorite color: pink
My favorite food: cantaloupe
My favorite game: freeze tag
My favorite TV show: Everyone's Hero
Things that bug me: getting shocked, Noah, bugs
The silliest thing I've ever done: chase Noah
What I want to be when I grow up: dentist, ballet teacher, Noah's friend
What I like to do most: paint
Names of sisters: ----
Names of brothers: Noah
What I like best about me: graceful, good painter, good heart, friendly