Hydrant flushing

My kids and I have always enjoyed hydrant flushing day.  I hate to see good water go to waste, so I always park my car in front of the hydrant and get a free car wash.  The kids ride their bikes through the spray and get a free bike wash.  Then we all run through it, stomp in the puddles, and get a fun shower. Here are a few pictures from past years:

Last night, it was dark by the time the flushers got to our street.  I was coming home from a walk when I spotted a hydrant down the street gushing water.  I drove the cars over for their washing and then asked if anyone wanted to run through it with me.  I was thinking probably nobody would, because it's October, it's dark, and the kids are getting older.  Sarah surprised me by leaping right up and shouting, "Oh yes!"  So we ran down the street, fully clothed, headed for the cold spray.  We paused before we entered.  I was thinking, "Do I really want to do this?  I'm old and tired; it's dark and cold..." but Sarah yelled, "Come on, let's run!" so we held hands Thelma and Louise style and ran screaming through the jet of cold water. We did it again.  Then we stomped in the puddles and kicked water at each other.

I hope she remembers these spontaneous, fun moments and forgets all the bad ones. 

Not a bank.

Last week I was calling around to find a bank where I could pay our real estate taxes.  It used to be that you could pay at any bank, but lately I've noticed the choices are fewer.  Noah was with me when I went into the bank to pay.  While we were in line, he asked, "Why don't you do this at CEFCU?" and I told him credit unions don't take real estate taxes, only banks.  He said, "But isn't CEFCU's motto 'Not a bank. Better.'?  Maybe they should change it to 'Not a bank. Worse.'"

Sidetracked

Our history curriculum came very highly recommended, and most homeschoolers I know use it.  Therefore, I tried and tried to like it, but I just don't.  It's so boring and very dryly written.  When I read it to Noah, I add my own little tidbits to try to interest him.  We're covering the 60s this week, and the text says, "1968 was a year of enormous upheaval."  I added, "Not only for the nation, but also for Grandpa and Grandma, because that's the year Uncle Jeff was born."  The text drones on about the 1960 election and how Nixon was favored to win but JFK won.  I added my opinion for the reason JFK won: He was young and hot, and Nixon looked like an old dried up troll on the televised debates.

Today I was supposed to teach about Kennedy's assassination.  I did actually teach it, but we ended up getting way off course.  Mike was here too, which added to the discussion.  Noah has his own theory about who assassinated JFK.  He thinks it was Lyndon Johnson, because he wanted to be President.  Mike mentioned Lee Harvey Oswald from the next room, but he referred to him as "Lee Harvey", so Noah thought he said Steve Harvey.  After the lesson was over, I asked review questions to see if he learned anything.  When I asked, "Who assassinated JFK?" he replied, "Roy Oswalt" who is apparently a major league baseball player.  Then we wandered off into conspiracy theories about the assassination, a discussion of "What on earth IS a book depository anyway?", and while researching the stealing of JFK's brain, we learned that Napoleon's penis was auctioned for three thousand dollars in 1977.  It was measured at one and a half inches long.  So, that's how we started with Kennedy and ended up an hour later at Napoleon's teeny weenie.  Sometimes that's the way history class goes. 

Meanwhile in anatomy and physiology, I'm teaching about the skeletal system.  I went to the butcher at Kroger and asked for some bones to study.  Now there's a thigh bone in a jar of vinegar on my kitchen counter.  Noah was still talking about penis auctions, so I asked him how much he thought his would bring.  He answered, "Four dollars."  I said, "We could store it in this jar with the chicken bone" and he said, "You'd have to get a bigger jar."  Homeschool is a strange place.

Lessons learned

Noah was grilling veggie burgers in the rain and got the grill too close to the house.  The siding melted.  He learned lesson #1: Don't grill close to the house.  Mike didn't freak out about it, but calmly went about ordering new siding.  Noah learned lesson #2: Don't damage a relationship over material things.

 Menards doesn't keep this siding in stock anymore, so it was a special order and took awhile to arrive.  Tonight, the boys fixed it.  Lesson #3: When you ruin something, fix it at least as good or better than it was before.

Hair lessons

The topic of my anatomy and physiology class today was hair.  Noah donated a lock of his to study.  I made a little fire pit for it and set it on fire so I teach about why burning hair stinks so much (there's sulfur in the keratin).

I threw in a quick lesson about false advertising and marketing too.  I had just taught that hair is made up of dead cells (otherwise haircuts would be a painful, bloody ordeal), and then noticed my bottle of conditioner claims to make my hair "more alive". 

Me? Really?

About a year ago, I bought a Beth Moore Bible study book at a garage sale, because I love Beth Moore.  A couple weeks ago, I finally cracked it open and started doing the study.  It has been really, really good.  This morning I thought I sensed the Lord telling me to lead the women of my church in this study.  Right away I started in with the excuses: "But you know I'm not a leader, and I don't have time anyway.  I'm teaching five high school classes and hauling Sarah where she needs to be and volunteering at The Share Closet, and I'm a youth group leader..." But I was still sensing that God wanted me to do this. So finally I said, "OK, I'll mention it to the head of Women's Ministries, and if she's into it, I'll do it.  But if she hesitates at all, I'll consider myself off the hook."  I sent Sheila a message and said, "Do you need a Bible study leader for the fall, or do you have enough?"

Noah emerged from his bed at that point, so I left the computer and went to talk to him.  I was telling him about what happened and ended up confessing that I don't feel holy enough to lead a Bible study.  He said, "You'll never be holy enough. Nobody is.  It's like what you told me about being a parent: 'If you wait until conditions are perfect (enough money, time, patience, etc.), you'll never do it.' So just do it."  I said, "I know you're right, but these people know me, and they know I'm not qualified..." and he said, "They trust you to lead their kids at youth group, so why wouldn't they trust you to lead them too?' 

I went back to my computer and found a message from Sheila that said my message was an answer to prayer because she had been praying for God to open hearts and minds to be Bible study leaders and especially to use those who don't think they have what it takes.  

Well, that's it then.  Looks like I'm doing it.  If you want to get deep into the life of John (the disciple, not the baptist), join us this fall!

My strange addiction

I spent a long time outside this morning taking pictures, mostly of bugs. When I came in, Noah and I had this coversation:

Me: I can't stop taking pictures of bugs.
Noah: You could make money on that.
M: That would be great!
N: There's this show called "My Strange Addiction" and you could be on it. 
M: Oh. I was thinking more along the lines of selling my bug photos.
N: Nobody cares about photos of bugs, Mom.  You're the bug they want to see.  The camera crew would come to our house and video you lying in the grass for hours with your camera, and the narrator would say, "This woman takes four thousand pictures a day...of bugs.  That's her strange addiction."