Revival

I heard about a revival starting at Asbury University in Kentucky.  I don't even remember where I heard it, and I knew next to nothing about it.  Sunday morning at 3:30 a.m., the Lord woke me up and invited me to take a road trip with Him to go see what He's doing in Kentucky.   I would have left right then, but I had to run the livestream at church.  The pastor talked a lot about the revival during his sermon, which I took as confirmation to go.  I asked Mike, "Is it ok with you if I don't come home after church but go to Kentucky?"  He was a little shocked.  He said, "Did you pack any clothes? Do you even have a toothbrush?" I admitted that I did not and that I had absolutely no plan.  All I knew was that I had to be back by Tuesday for work.  

So as soon as church ended, I started driving.  I was hoping to arrive before dark, but when it became clear that I wouldn't, I stopped to watch the lovely sunset over a pond with geese.  After I got off the interstate, the roads got a little sketchy.  Narrow, winding, hilly, no painted lines to mark the edge of the road, and no shoulder, just a dropoff and a crumbling stone wall that stretched for miles in various stages of disrepair.  On this road, I began to ask myself, "Really? THIS is where the revival is?  Not in a big city or somewhere well-known, but out here in the boonies in the middle of the country?"  It occurred to me that that's probably what the people seeking the newborn Messiah were thinking too.  Jesus appeared as a baby born in a humble, lowly place, not a majestic king riding victoriously into a big city.  This is just like God.  

I finally arrived in the little town of Wilmore at about 6:30 p.m.  It was dark and I had no idea where I was going. I assumed it wouldn't be hard to find a raucous revival.  I drove through the town in about 5 seconds and didn't notice anything revival-ish. I think I was expecting some huge venue with a Billy Graham sized crowd with lots of noise and commotion.  All I saw was a chapel with both doors open.  I slowed down and peered inside and saw some people sitting calmly in pews and presumed that wasn't it.  I texted Mike and said I thought it had ended and I missed it.  He said he was still seeing live reports on Facebook, so I parked at a Dollar General a few blocks from the chapel and walked to it. No rowdy crowds, no banners announcing "REVIVAL HERE!", no noise emanating down the street.  

I walked in, and someone greeted me and said "Glad you're here." I wandered in and took a seat on a wooden pew.  There were plenty of spaces available.  I had the whole pew to myself.  There was a man speaking up front.  A couple students gave testimonies.  I was a little disappointed and largely unimpressed.  I had been expecting a wild party, miraculous healings, people being saved and delivered...not a small crowd of people sitting quietly.  I had expected to be hit with a wave of the Holy Spirit that knocked me to the floor, but instead I didn't sense His presence at all.  I said, "Lord, where are You? Didn't You invite me to meet You here?" Then a small worship team started playing "The Blessing" and everyone sang in harmony and tears started rolling down my face the way they often do when I sense the closeness of the Lord.  I said right out loud, "Oh, there You are." And so it began.  

The worship was anointed but very tame.  No screaming and shouting, no fancy lights, not even any words projected on a screen.  The speaker dude (never had any idea who he was, but he was good) invited people to the altar to pray.  I didn't feel a call to go up, but I thought...I drove 6 hours to get here; I'm getting the full experience.  I sat on the floor with some other people and started praying.  I asked for forgiveness for not doing a better job raising my kids, not praying for them enough, not being a better example for them, etc.  I cried and repented and prayed for my kids and my nephews and the kids attending that university and eventually expanded it to the younger generation throughout the world.  

I prayed for my little group of leaders that I pray for daily, and I saw angels around them.  Sometimes I see angels for real, but these were just in a vision in my head.  They were circled around the people I was praying for, with their arms around each other's shoulders so their wings overlapped.  They were ministering to them, speaking to them, filling them.  And there was another circle of angels around the smaller circle, but they were facing out, so it was a double ring of back-to-back angels.  The ones facing out were holding flaming swords and shields.  They were big warrior angels protecting the people I was praying for from all kinds of sickness, lies, attacks.  

I stayed there a long time.  Then I noticed a woman in front of me facedown on the floor sobbing.  I felt called to minister to her, so I crawled up next to her and put my arm around her and prayed for her.  I prayed for the worship team to be refilled and refreshed as they continued leading worship for hours.  My mind just wandered around in prayer for a long time, and at some point I went back to my pew. I don't remember what time it was when someone came up and announced that they were going to close the chapel until 10:00 the next morning but we could go across the street to "Hughes".  I had no idea what that was, but I had driven 6 hours and I wanted the full experience.  So I crossed the dark street with a small herd of people (absolutely zero vehicle traffic) and followed the crowd up the steps of a building that said "Hughes Auditorium" on the front.  

This was a bigger space, louder, and filled with mostly college-aged kids.  It was definitely wilder than the chapel experience, but still, not the craziness I had expected.  There was a bigger worship team (but still small) leading songs we all knew.  I stood at the back at first and got the lay of the land.  Then I moved to the middle because I wanted to be in the middle of this singing crowd.  It was glorious.  I moved to the front because I wanted to watch the guy playing the beautiful grand piano.  After a couple hours, another guy came up and tapped him on the shoulder and they did a fascinating dance of seamless transition.  The new guy sat next to him on the bench and slid his foot onto the pedal as the first guy edged his foot off the pedal. The new guy scooted in and simultaneously slipped his hands under the first guy's hands and the music continued perfectly as the first guy pulled his hands off the keys and slid off the bench and leaned back in to hug the new player.  If I hadn't been watching, I wouldn't have been able to detect that a completely different person was now playing.  

Eventually I moved to the balcony because I had driven 6 hours and wanted to get the full experience from every angle.  I had been cold the whole night (where are those hot flashes when you need them?!), and the longer I went without food, sleep, or adequate clothing, the colder I got.  Around 2:00 a.m. I noticed I was shivering.  I determined that it was not the Holy Spirit experience I had been hoping for, but just tired and cold and hungry.  I decided I would go to the car and turn the heat on and drive around a little to look for a closer parking spot, then get the blanket out of the trunk to take back in with me. It was cold out and I was underdressed so by the time I got to the car, my teeth were chattering, and I was shaking so hard I could barely open the door.  I cranked up the heat and drove through town, not finding a better parking spot. Then I was on the other side of town, and I realized my car was heading home.  Sometimes God uses my car and surprises me. I was 100% planning on going back to the auditorium, but suddenly here I was driving home.  It was weird.  

I drove all night and got home just as the sun was coming up and Mike was just about to leave for work.  

Update: The Lord started writing this song on the way home.  We've been working on it all week. 

Verse 1
He made the sky
And every grain of sand
He owns the waves
And holds the stars in His hand

Pre Chorus
But He is not too far to see you
He is not too high to love you
As a matter of fact
He did it all for you

Chorus
Come and sit in His lap
Come and rest in His arms
He's the powerful One
He's the God who loves you
He made the moon
He made the sea
And all He wants is you and me
Come and receive
He is all we need
Come and receive

Verse 2
Drop everything to hear His voice
'Cause He's speaking to you and He always hears yours
Make room inside your heart for Him
'Cause it's you that He loves; you're the one He adores

Click to listen

Unexpected reprieve

Can this day get any better?  

I was supposed to have a long shift at Costco today.  I got up and saw a kitchen that needed a lot of time and effort, laundry on the floor that needed folding, a full hamper of laundry that needed washing, garbage that didn't get collected and taken out yesterday, and not enough time to do anything about it.  

There's a funeral at church this weekend, and I usually help with the funeral meals, but all my time is scheduled between now and then.  I was feeling guilty about that yesterday, and Pastor Eric sprinkled fake holy water over me and absolved me of all guilt, which actually did help, but guilt was lingering around my edges anyway.  I wasn't overwhelmed by any of this, but I did feel the weight of it.  

Then my boss called and said something wonderful to me: "The warehouse sold out of the product that you were scheduled to demo today, so we won't need you to come in today."  I've worked there two years and never heard of this happening. That weight lifted off of me immediately and I praised the Lord, and in the next instant I had a breakthrough with a difficult situation I've been going through with someone. We had a chance to talk and clear the air.  Then I had a ministry opportunity and the Lord gave me the right words.  Then I tackled the kitchen.  The laundry is in progress, and I'm about the do the garbage.  I emailed the funeral person and said I'd make food for the funeral.  And I should still have some time left to worship in my empty house before meeting Mike and kids for dinner.  God is so good to me to care about all these little details and give me what I need.  

Warfare

I've been obsessed with spiritual warfare for the last couple weeks.  I've been thinking about the invisible battlefields of my mind and of the spiritual realm that exists all around us. And I've been meditating on each piece of armor that God has provided for us to have victory.  I'm finally moving past that section in Ephesians, having just studied the last weapon in depth.  As I pondered each piece of armor, I visualized myself (and some specific other people that God brought to mind) wearing it.  I saw myself standing on a mountaintop in the wind, wearing the helmet, breastplate, shoes, etc. and holding up my shield and  pointing my sword.  Then I said to God, "Here I am, all suited up and ready for battle.  What do I do now?"  The answer was clear: pray.  

The very next words in Ephesians after the armor section are four consecutive commands to pray.  "Pray passionately...pray...and pray also...yes, pray..."  Sometimes after we've exhausted all our ideas and done everything we can think to do in our own strength, we throw up our hands and say, "Well, I guess the only  thing left to do is pray" as if that were some weak, last-resort option.  Instead, it is the most powerful, impactful thing we can do.  When I say I'm praying for you, know that I mean I'm putting on all the armor and going to battle against evil forces for you.  

Spirituality for Dummies, chapter 2

Mike and I were talking about current high school/college students vs. being a student "back in our day" (we are getting older by the second!).  We were saying kids these days can get an extension on a deadline if they have a hangnail, and back in our day, you could be on your deathbed but you still had to turn in your work.  If kids fail a test now, they have an opportunity to retake it.  They have chances to earn extra credit too.  When we were in school, if you failed, you failed, and your grades reflected it.  There was no "everybody gets a trophy" mentality.  

Then I had a revelation: maybe there was grace available to me back then, and I just didn't know it!  I never asked for it, never expected it, never thought I deserved it.  I thought I had to do everything exactly according to the rules and in my own strength.  I'm still working on letting go of that mentality.  I don't have to be perfect, and neither do you. We don't have to perform to earn the reward.  Jesus is perfect, and because our identity is wrapped up in Him, God's grace covers us!  

A revelation from Ephesians

Five months ago, I dove deep into the ocean of Ephesians, and God and I have been swimming along in those currents every day.  For the last several days, I've been meditating on fighting spiritual battles.  This morning, the Holy Spirit prompted me to do some research on ancient Roman battle techniques. I'm quite certain that this was not my own idea, because I've always had zero interest in history, especially military tactics.  But there I was, with fingers that hardly even seemed my own, googling Roman warfare, and I discovered something fascinating! 

In ancient warfare, soldiers lit arrows on fire before shooting them, so that even if they bounced off their targets' shields, they would land at their feet and burn them. The Romans covered their shields with thick animal hide, and before going into battle, they would dip their hide-covered shields into water. Then the flaming arrows of the enemy would extinguish upon contact with the water-soaked shields. 

As I was reading this, the Lord spoke to me that before we enter spiritual battle, we should immerse our shields of faith into the living water of Christ, so that the fiery arrows the devil aims at us will be extinguished on impact and will fall to the ground as the smoking, harmless rubbish they are.  Our battlefields are our minds, and the devil has no weapons that are any match for the armor God has provided for us!  Check out the sixth chapter of Ephesians to discover our weapons of warfare.

(This past Sunday, my pastor told me that he had a vision of me sitting at an old desk, writing.  And when he asked God what I was writing, God told him that I was writing a book called "Spirituality for Dummies".  He encouraged me to write that book.  Maybe this blog post is chapter one?)

Another Holy Spirit encounter

I woke up with the song "This is How I Fight My Battles" in my head.  I haven't heard it lately, and it's not even one that I particularly like, but it wouldn't stop playing in a loop as the background soundtrack of my whole morning.  Then Becky sent me a message asking if I’ve heard the song “This is How I Fight My Battles.” I couldn't believe she said that. The power of the Holy Spirit blows me away in moments like that. I will learn to play that song.

As I'm memorizing Ephesians, I usually add a verse every day, but several days ago I felt like I should camp on chapter six, verse 10, so I did. I was a little annoyed that I wasn't making any progress, but the Lord reminded me that there are no deadlines, no pressure, and no rules, except those I'm putting on myself. Because I took a few extra days on verse 10, my verses today lined up with the theme He had going about fighting my battles, and it was extra easy to memorize. His timing is always perfect.

“Put on God’s complete set of armor provided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser! Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage. Because of this, you must wear all the armor that God provides so you’re protected as you confront the slanderer, for you are destined for all things and will rise victorious.”

An Almost Perfect Day

Yesterday.  Three things on the schedule.  A Christmas party with old friends, a meeting I didn't want to attend right after the party, and leading worship by myself for a group at church that night.  Just before I left for the party, the meeting I was dreading got cancelled.  Driving to the party, I prayed my usual prayer that God would use me, speak through me, love through me.  Had a great time at the party and reconnected with a friend I haven't talked with in awhile.  

On the way home, I was thankful for a some unexpected free time before worship that night.  I had been practicing, and the Lord had given me a song list, so I wasn't feeling nervous about it, but I had a strange urge to go to the church and practice.  I still hadn't decided whether I was going to or not, but the car just sort of drove itself there, so I went with it.  My feet took me to a door that I don't usually use, and right inside it was the new cleaning lady that I'd met only once a few months ago.  I felt like I should tell her she was doing a good job, so I did that and started heading for the piano, but her face stopped me.  She was crying.  

I went around the table and wrapped her up in a big hug.  She told me some stuff, including the fact that she was thinking about quitting and had been feeling pressured and unappreciated and needing a hug.  I gave her a pep talk, prayed for her, invited her to take a break and come and sing with me.  Worship always makes everyone feel better.  She shyly said that she happened to bring her guitar.  I said, "Go get your guitar and I'll get you a music stand, and we're going to have a worship party." So we did. 

Becky has a beautiful voice, a talent for guitar, and an incredible gift for harmonizing.  I asked her if she could teach me to sing harmony like that.  She said, "You just sing the note above or below the melody, and it's like two dolphins swimming together one on top of the other."  What a beautiful image!  Her dolphin swam so gracefully with mine.  I could feel the anointing.  I invited her to lead worship with me that night, and she said, "Can you come a little early so we can practice again?" Music to my ears.

I came home for a few hours and went back early, and there was Becky, ready to practice. We did the songs that God had suggested to me earlier in the week, and I felt His presence strongly. Then the leader of the group asked  if I would do this song I'd written called "Peace" because she wanted to use it as the theme song for their study.  Ah...a chance to put into practice the spontaneity that God has been working on with me.  I happened to have my book of music next to me, and I opened it, hoping to find the music to this song.  It was right on top, AND there were two copies of it!  I handed one to Becky and said, "It's a simple song. You'll figure it out." She immediately did just that.  What a gift she has!  It was delightful to hear harmony with the song I wrote.  

Hours after I got home, I was still basking in the glow of the whole day, and I looked out my window and saw the biggest snowflakes I'd ever seen, gushing down from the sky in a glorious downpour.  There was no snow in the forecast, and it had just been raining.  As I stood there staring at it, Sarah walked down the hall on her way to bed.  I said, "Sarah, look at this snow!" and she came and stood at the window with me.  Then she said, "Do you want to go outside and admire it?"  My heart filled up with love for her at that moment.  Less than a minute later, we were standing in the middle of the street, late at night, twirling in the snow, catching it on our tongues, marveling at the size of it.  God's blessings showering down on us.  What a wonderful day!