Police and Chickens

My children have been asking for months if we can get a chick as a pet. My automatic response to any pet request is no, because I'm at my maximum capacity for mess, noise, and living creatures demanding my attention. The chick idea did appeal to me, though, because chicks are so darn cute, and it would be a good educational experience. Plus, when it grows up, it could actually give back a little, in the form of eggs. I told them we'd check with the boss. I assumed he would say no, but he said we could do some research on it.

I looked up some information about where to get them, what supplies they need, how much it would all cost, and how much work it would involve for me. It was starting to sound pretty good. Then I found out that a family we know just received a shipment of 26 chicks. They even invited us over for a field trip! I know that when we go see these chicks, the kids are going to want to get one for ourselves, so I wanted to have my answer ready.

I called the city zoning board to find out if it's even legal to keep chickens as pets in the city. I didn't think it was an especially funny question, but after the woman finally stopped laughing, she said I would have to call the police department, because they handle animal control. So I called the police, and we had this conversation:

Me: Is it legal to keep chickens as pets in the city?
Woman: You'd have to call the zoning department about that.
Me: I just spoke with the zoning department, and they referred me to you.
Woman: Hold on.
(I'm on hold for awhile, and then someone else gets on the phone)
Woman: What is your name?
Me: Janel
(I didn't give my last name, because for some illogical reason, I didn't want the police to know too much. Besides, I reasoned, what's the difference what my name is? Do they determine my chicken-worthiness based on my name?)
Woman: Last name?
Me: Janes
Woman: Address?
(Now I'm starting to freak out, thinking maybe I broke the law by simply MENTIONING chickens, and they're sending the cops out to get me. I consider giving a fake address, but I figure they already know it anyway. Then I put aside the paranoia and think maybe chickens are allowed only in certain parts of the city, so I give my address.)
Woman: Where is the chicken?
Me: What chicken?
Woman: The chicken you're reporting as a pet!
Me: I'm not reporting a pet; I'm getting a pet! (At this point, the kids look at each other, very excited, so I revise my statement). I mean, I just want to know if there's any city ordinance against it.
Woman: I'll have to call you back.
A few minutes later, she calls back and says, "According to ordinance 6-11-3, it is NOT legal to keep chickens as pets in the city."
Me: Oh, good. Thanks.
Woman: Good? I thought you wanted to get a chicken?
Me: My kids want a chicken. Now I'm going to tell them no, but it won't be my fault, it'll be yours!

Now if only there was a city ordinance against ALL pets....