Throwback Thursday--my list of things I never thought I'd say

March 2006

I kept a list of things I never thought I'd say when the kids were little.  Here it is:

1. We really can't keep ants as housepets. 
2. If you don’t let me cut those hoofs, I’ll have to cancel the whole mission to the moon. (trying to convince a reluctant Noah, who was pretending to be an astronaut, that I had to trim his ridiculously long toenails)
3. How many extra legs do you think the spider packed for his vacation?
4. The furnace stays in the corner; it doesn’t just go wandering around the basement.
5. What is that in your hair…dried banana?
7. Don’t hammer the piano!
8. Who put this crayon in the fish bowl?
9. Did you bring home a sample of alien poop?
10. No, Tinkie-Winkie is the purple one.
11. Take the worms out of your pants.
12. What is that slimy substance dripping down the window?
13. Be careful so you don’t drop wood on each other.
14. Apples are for eating, not for sword-fighting.
15. You didn't just call 9-1-1, did you?
16. Pick up that...thingamajig, and put it on the...you know, that thing over there.
18. If you sing to the fish any louder, they're going to go deaf.
19. Please don’t clear the table with your hockey stick.
20. Toilet paper is not for mummifying your sister.
21. Why are you licking the remote control?
22. If you poke your eye out in the tub, it will float around and clog the drain.
23. Stop waving lilacs in your brother’s face.
24. Yes, but if our house was made of chocolate, it would melt into a puddle in the summer.
25. Now it’s your turn to be the garbage truck, and it’s Sarah’s turn to be the garbage can.
26. Don’t jump-rope on the stairs.
27. You don’t want to glue garbage onto your fake cheese, do you?
28. Pick up your hair and get moving! (said to Sarah when she sliding down the stairs impossibly slowly, while everyone else was trying to come down behind her, and she was saying, “Don’t step on my hair!”)
29. Don’t throw my hair at me (said by Mike to Sarah, who was picking up chunks of Mike’s hair and throwing it at him while I was giving him a haircut).
30. Don’t sit in the bowls.
31. Who ate Christopher Columbus? (we were pretending an ice cube was Christopher Columbus and were zooming him across the table)
32. If your skull were really cracked, you wouldn’t be laughing.
33. Guard the ship, Obi-Wan…the droids are attacking!
34. Put your underwear away after you’re done making a nest out of them.
35. Don't use Marty's tail as a stressball.
36. We don't need to braid the curtains. (Mike said that one to Sarah)
    
    
    Feel free to add your own in the comments.