Today, I was teaching a writing class, and I got out this old story and told Noah to write a new one. He wrote:
HE DID WHAT?! (NOT CLICKBAIT)
The weeds at Westwood Park have grown so tall and out of control that the old men can't play baseball there anymore. The old man wearing a red Make America Great Again hat becomes so frustrated that he bends over and begins to eat the weeds like a wild animal that deserves to live under a porch. His two Republican friends watch in horror as the human lawn mower devours the entire field and builds a new outfield wall to keep the Mexican teams out.