Me: Hello, this is Janel JaNes (I enunciate this carefully, so she won't confuse it with James, which people always do). I need to schedule an appointment for my son to have a physical with Dr. X [not his real name, obviously]. I know Dr. X is busy, and I'm not in a hurry. I just need it before the next school year starts, so I can enroll my son in driver's ed. [At this point, I gave her my son's name and date of birth, so she wouldn't ask me].
Office person: Hmmmm, I can't find a Noah James...has he been here before?
Me: [Ticked off beyond reason, forcing myself to be polite] It's JaNes, with an N.
O: Ok...has he been here before?
M: [pushing out a slow breath] Yes.
O: Hmmm...he's not a new patient?
M: [starting to lose it] No. He's been coming there for 14 years.
O: What is his date of birth?
M: [I give it to her again and try to curb the curse words running through my mind].
O: Oh...it looks like we have him listed under Janes instead of James.
[I had to set the phone down for a couple seconds].
Me: Yes, it is Janes, with an N.
O: Oh, that's him then! Dr. X's schedule is booked through April, so I'll schedule him with another doctor so you can get him in quicker.
After this phone call, I should have taken a long, long walk before starting my teaching day, but I didn't think I had time. I didn't even take a deep breath, which would have been advisable. The poor kids have taken the brunt of my irritation, sad to say. On top of everything else, Noah has had the most annoying cough this week, which puts my resting grouch level at 9. When it's this high, I can't even relax enough to sleep, so I was watching an infomercial at 3:30 a.m. (always a bad idea). Of course, by the end of it, I thought, "I have to have this pan. How have I ever cooked anything without this marvel?" It wasn't very expensive (clue #1), so I bought it. When it got here, there were no instructions about how to cook all those great things I saw on the infomercial. Fortunately, the company has a website with a live chat option. I chatted with them just now:
Lord, help me.