Sunday, May 30, 2010

Good belly laugh

I had a dream that I was in some kind of town hall meeting where politicians were campaigning for mayor of Morton (I think).  There was a big audience, all dressed in business suits.  The whole thing was very serious and stuffy.  After the speeches, someone told us to get a plastic bag from the back of the room and cast our vote.  I picked up my bag, and in it was a little pumpkin and baby pictures of each candidate.  I marked the picture of the candidate I wanted to vote for, and then we were instructed to cut open our pumpkins, scoop out the goop and seeds, put it all in a blender, and pour it back in the bag. 

I looked around at the well-dressed people getting pumpkin all over themselves, and I felt some laughter bubbling up inside me.  I managed to contain it, but then the blender started spewing mashed pumpkin all over the room, and everyone was covered in it, even the candidates for mayor.  I started to smirk, and then giggle, and then I went to the restroom and found it full of women dabbing at their suits with paper towels.  I said to no one in particular, "Well, that was weird!" and started laughing.  Nobody else thought it was funny, but I found it hilarious.  I laughed hysterically and couldn't stop. 

I laughed myself awake and realized I was still laughing (loudly) and tears were streaming down my face.  Once I finally realized I had just woken up from a dream, I glanced at the clock.  3:56 a.m.  The cat, who had been sleeping peacefully on my pillow, was now standing up and staring at me rather warily.  He's never heard me laugh so hard.  In my fuzzy, barely awake state, I kept on laughing.  Later in the light of day, I was telling my family about the dream, and it didn't seem funny at all. 

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sandbox restaurant

The kids occupied themselves in the sandbox for a long time this morning.  They were cooking an elaborate buffet for the President, soldiers, and various other government workers.  There were tacos, sushi, donuts, welbydon cake and scotch cake (Sarah invented those).  Here's Sarah making peanut butter rolls:

And here's Noah working on what he called the "marinated failure".  He said whenever something didn't work out, they would throw it in the marinade.  He was planning to add some "steak tips" (pinecones) and serve it.

Ten minutes of privacy

Whenever I take a shower, that becomes the exact moment that people think they need something from me.  They can be busily occupied elsewhere, but as soon as they hear the water running, they remember something that they must ask me for immediately:
"Mom, can we get out the fingerpaint?"
"Mom, what time is my game tonight?"
"Honey, what should the kids wear to church?"
"Mom, can we make cookies?"
"Mom, how do you spell 'eight' again?"
"Mom, where's Sarah?"

If it's not a question, then it's a crisis:
"Mom, Noah has a nosebleed, and he's bleeding all over the carpet!"
"Mom, the smoke alarm is going off!"
"Honey, did you know I have to usher at church today and we have to leave in 5 minutes?"
"Mom, there's a big man on the porch. Should we open the door?"
"Mom, Sarah just let the cat out!"

Even when the kids were babies, on those rare days that I managed to get in the shower, that's when they would start crying.  I have a theory that I should test sometime.  I think even if I got in the shower at 2:00 a.m., someone would come in and need something.

F alien

The kids were working on cursive f's today.  Noah had a failed one that turned into an alien:

Saturday, May 15, 2010


It was a perfect evening for fishing.  Mike had a decent haul, but I was outfished by a six-year-old with a pink princess pole.  Sarah caught a large-mouth bass and the tiniest bluegill I've ever seen.  I only caught one bass.  She was using a rubber worm, which inspired her to sing a song to the tune of Sesame Street's "Rubber Ducky".  She sang it loudly and repeatedly, but it didn't seem to scare away any fish.  It went, "Rubber wormie, you're the one. You make fishing so much fun. Rubber wormie, I'm awfully fond of you."

Noah wasn't having much luck with worms, so he decided to switch to lures.  First he marinated a rubber worm in the container of real worms so it would "pick up their scent". The he used two lures at the same time.  He caught a good sized fish with that, so he added another lure.  By the time we quit, he had six or seven lures on his line.  The sheer weight of his bait dunked his bobber under the water, so it was hard to tell when he had an actual bite.

On the way home, Sarah wanted us to do ballet leaps over the cracks in the road.  I'm not (and never have been) a ballerina, but there I was running down Morton Avenue at rush hour, leaping with my arms in some ballet position (don't remember which).  I think I pulled a muscle.  

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Weaving chinchillas

Ok, so I don't really have anything to post; I just wanted to use the title.  When I told Mike that the kids were weaving potholders and pretending to be chinchillas, he said that would be a good blog post title.

                    This chinchilla was singing while she was weaving.

Tooth Fairy

Sarah has a very loose tooth that is barely hanging on.  She's been whining about it for weeks.  A few days ago, I convinced her to let me pull it out.  She asked if it would hurt, and I said it might hurt for just a second but then it would be over.  I grabbed the tiny, slippery tooth and pulled.  Sarah screamed and cried and took to her bed for half an hour.  The tooth is still hanging on.

The Tooth Fairy comes up with a good present for the first tooth, and I knew just the thing to get Sarah:  a pink Zhu Zhu pet.  I thought it would be a cinch to get one, but I went to Walmart that night and discovered they didn't have the pink ones.  I also checked two other stores: no pink. Finally I ordered one online, but it won't come till next week. 

For the past several weeks, I've been encouraging Sarah to wiggle that tooth, and she's been whining about how much it hurts.  Now that I know the pet won't arrive until next week, I've been telling her not to wiggle the tooth because the fairy isn't ready yet.  So she's been wiggling all the time. 

Friday, May 7, 2010

The public tantrum

I remember many years ago when a neighbor girl (who has since moved away) was sitting on the curb in front of her house, crying loudly.  I watched for a couple minutes, waiting for her parents to handle it, but when they didn't appear, I went out to check on her.  She told me her tale of five-year-old girl woe, and I thought it was sad that nobody seemed to care. 

Today, my own little girl sat on our front porch crying hysterically while I was inside ignoring her.  I get it now.  It's all about the attention and the drama. When the neighbor across the street came over looking concerned, I explained that she was fine and just having a fit. 

Ups and downs

Noah got a letter in the mail today, notifying him that he didn't win the writing/illustrating contest he entered.  He made a really good book to enter, and he thought he had a chance to win, so he was disappointed.  One of the judges wrote a personal note on his rejection letter, saying that she loved his story the best and expects to see him next year.

The day ended on a better note for him though.  He was in the MLB Pitch, Hit, and Run contest, and he qualified for sectionals in pitching.  He's very fired up about that and has dreams of making it all the way to the finals in California.  Seeing his face when they called his name made it worth standing out in the cold wind for two hours. 

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Banana spaghetti

One of our favorite books includes a story about a boy making up a dish called banana spaghetti for his mom for Mother's Day.  Every time we read it, the kids always want to make banana spaghetti.  Of course I have no idea how to do it, and I couldn't even find a recipe online, so we invented our own.  We mixed flour, salt, egg, banana, and cinnamon until it formed a dough.  Then we rolled it out really thin, cut it into strips, dried them, and boiled them.  Instead of tomato sauce, we made vanilla pudding.  It wasn't too bad.

                                           She didn't want sauce, so she just ate plain noodles.

Trading Lunches

I made the kids a menu, and they chose what they wanted for lunch.  When I delivered their order to the table, they immediately started looking at each other's food.  Sarah said, "I wish I would have chosen fish sticks.  Hey Noah, I'll give you half of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich for half of your fish sticks."  Noah had five fish sticks on his plate, and he figured Sarah didn't know what half of five was, so he said, "How many fish sticks would I have to give you?"  Sarah answered two, and Noah winked at me.  Then he told her that it would really be two and a half, but that he didn't want to give up even two, so he suggested they just trade bites.  After trading bites of their main course, the decided to trade a slice of apple for a segment of clementine.  Having never been to school, they don't know about school kids trading lunches, so it must just come naturally.  The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.