Monday, April 11, 2022

Midlife adventure

I had my first singing lesson today from a professional  musician who goes to our church.  I walked into her house and was greeted by a Steinway grand piano.  It was beautiful. She said I could play it while she was finishing something else.  I was happy to, because I've always wanted to play a Steinway and also because it meant that I didn't have to start singing immediately.  It's the best piano I've ever played, and I loved it even more than I love my own, which is a lot.  I would have gladly played it the whole time, but the pro was ready to start the lesson.  

Mercifully, she started by saying, "Tell me your musical journey" which bought me some more time.  I told her the whole story.  Then she sat across the room and told me to play and sing.  I seized up and got sweaty and terrified because I don't sing in front of people, especially professionals.  I played the first song I wrote last summer and I choked out the words in my tight, seized up, terrified voice.  It sounded absolutely hideous.  I was embarrassed and looked down for awhile when it was over because I knew that if this woman was even still in the room she was going to have a horrified look on her face and tell me to get out of her house and never come back.  Finally I glanced over at her and she was smiling and saying what a peaceful, powerful song it was, and I said, "Can you teach me how to sing it?" and she said yes.  Just the fact that she wasn't writhing in horror encouraged me.

Then she gave me some tips, told me what to think about, how to hold my body, how to breathe, and she put her hand on the back of my neck and moved my head around.  She had me do some warmup exercises, tested my range, and asked, "Did you know you have a three-octave range?" I said I certainly did not.  I always thought singing was a gift you either had or didn't, and I always thought I didn't.  I'm starting to think it's something that can be developed if I work at it. 

So after all that, she told me to sing.  I opened my mouth and some strong noise came out right on pitch, and I looked around to see who else was in the room, because I've never made a sound like that before.  I looked at her in shock and said, "What did you do?" and she said, "You did it.  I wish I would have recorded it.  Do you hear the difference?"  Then she played the song I wrote while I stood and sang it.  Then she made me play and sing and gave me homework to do, and I'm going back next week. It was fun!  I refuse to stagnate into old age.  I want to keep learning, growing, and trying new things that terrify me.

Wednesday, April 6, 2022

John 18

The problem with reading straight through the gospels is that Jesus gets crucified four times in a row, and it breaks my heart every time. I've made it through Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and I'm getting tense as I near the end of John, because I know it's coming.
Thoughts from John 18: When the mob came to arrest Jesus, they said hey, we're looking for Jesus, and Jesus said, "I am he." At those three tiny words, the whole murderous crowd was blasted to the ground, and yet they popped back up and continued their mission as if nothing unusual had just happened. I had to stop and ponder that for awhile.
Then Peter cut off Malchus' ear and Jesus miraculously made him a brand new ear, and still the soldiers arrested Him. I wonder...was Malchus among them? In my imagination, he felt his new ear and was so amazed and thankful that he dropped his weapons and ran off to do something different with his life.

Then Jesus was being questioned by Pilate, who asked Him this humdinger: "What is truth?" and Jesus didn't reply. I wonder why. It seemed like a great teaching opportunity, but He remained silent. Maybe because He knew that Pilate wouldn't listen? Maybe He was too tired to get into it after a whole day of dealing with the disciples and the events of the night?