Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Lunch conversations

Noah's baseball game got rained out last night and rescheduled for tonight.  I had already told a friend that I would come to her party tonight.  So during lunch, I was agonizing over what to do.  I'm not in favor of going off to do selfish things instead of supporting my kids, but in this case, the only reason I said I would go to the party was that there was nothing on the calendar for this night. 

M: Is it more important to keep my commitment to Debbi or to support you?
N: Go to the party, Mom. I have lots of games this year.  Besides I'm in a slump, so you won't miss anything.
M: When you go up to bat, tell yourself, "I'm going to get a hit. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
N: If I do that, the ump will back away and say, "Watch out for this kid, people!  He's crazy!"

Meanwhile, I notice Sarah staring at my salad.
M: Are you jealous of my salad?
S: Of course not. I don't like salad.
M: Why are you staring at it?
S: Because it's the only thing in this boring room with any color!  Why do you have chips on your salad?
M: Because it's a taco salad.
S: That's just wrong. Crunchy things don't go with cold things. That's the rule.
M: Whose rule?
S: Sarah's rule.
M: It's called textural contrast.  It's a good thing.
S: That would be like having a crunchy biscuit with ice cream, according your rule.
M: I don't have a rule!

Homemade pillow

When I broke my arm, Sarah thoughtfully made me a pillow so I could rest my hurting limb on it.  The outside was a white bandana that she had colored with markers.  It was cute, but I did notice that it was rather lumpy.  The reason for the lumpiness became apparent today when the seam came apart, and Noah extracted the stuffing. 
She had stuffed it with a fleece pillowcase, a scarf, an old napkin, and what appeared to be the contents of a whole box of tissues (hopefully unused). 

Monday, May 25, 2015


 We went to a wedding last weekend.  We think it's the first one we've been to since 2008.

 science experiments with champagne and Sugar Babies.

 Sarah took her first taste of champagne.  She hated it.  Hopefully she'll always remember that.

 Angry about how yucky champagne is and how long everything is taking.

 Poor Noah had been to a sleepover the night before and didn't sleep at all.

My right arm still doesn't work well after breaking it several weeks ago, so Noah cut my food for me. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

From greatness to poop

Noah posed this question at lunch today:  Who do think is greatest person in history?
Me: Jesus.
Noah: A.D. history.
Me: Greatest in what sense? For what country?
Noah: America.
Me: Lots to choose from. George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Benjamin Franklin, Martin Luther King Jr., Thomas Edison...
Noah: I think it's Thomas Crapper. Did you know that the average person would live 20 years less if the toilet had not been invented?
Me: No.
Noah: All those diseases from people pooping outside.
Me: And wild animals attacking you when you're pooping outside.
Sarah: The greatest person in American history is the person who invented the TV remote control.

Monday, May 18, 2015

First day of therapy

I took the kids on a field trip today to my therapy appointment.  They learned about filling out forms and dealing with people.  For spelling and vocabulary, they learned the definition of "dynamometer" and "goniometer".  They also learned the difference between physical and occupational therapy.  I planted a seed that one or both of them might want to become a therapist someday.  My therapist sent them on errands throughout the office to get weights and other torture devices to use on me.  She was good with them and let them see who was the strongest (my left hand was the winner, by the way.  The dynamometer measured its grip strength at 45 pounds.  Noah's right hand was 35, and Sarah's 34. They both later claimed that they didn't try their hardest.  My right hand did a whopping 5).   

How did I survive with no wifi?

Noah is famous for coming up with thought-provoking questions. Today he asked me, "What one object that you have now would you like to take back to your childhood to use?"  As I was trying to warm up my brain to think of an answer, Sarah suggested one for me: "How about your cell phone?"
I thought that was a good idea, so I went with it.  Noah said, "But Mom. What would you do with it?  There was no wifi back then!"  I thought I could use it as a camera, but then I ended up deciding just to take my camera. What would you take? Leave a comment.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Orange juice emergency

Sarah yelled from the kitchen, "Mom! Come quick!" I strolled out there (because it's never, ever the emergency she makes it out to be) and found her holding her glass at an angle and staring at the orange juice in it. She said, "If I look at my glass like this, the orange juice looks exactly like Nevada!"

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Why DO we need all those extra words?

I was teaching Sarah spelling/vocabulary words. 
M: Clerical.
S: What does "clerical" mean?
M: Secretarial.
S: Then why don't they just call it "secretarial"?
M: I don't know.  Your next word is "fiscal".
S: What on earth is that?
M: Financial.
S: Well then, why wouldn't you just say "financial"?!  Why do we need all those extra words that I have to learn?