I went to the Riverplex with my mom yesterday, and in the locker room we encountered a young mom with a little girl who looked like she was about two years old. Mommy said it was time to go swimming, but Little Girl was resisting, whining and saying she wasn't going. They argued back and forth a bit, with LG insisting she doesn't want to get her toenails wet. I looked at her toenails, thinking they must be painted and sparkly, but no. They're just regular, naked, healthy-looking toenails. Mommy seemed to think that was a perfectly reasonable argument, so she and LG just sat down on a bench in the locker room to wait. My mom said to LG, "Are you going swimming?" and LG's mommy answered, "We'll get there eventually. She's just having some feelings right now."
I thought to myself, "Feelings! About toenails?" I thought what I did when my toddlers acted like that. They didn't dictate our plans and activities with their feelings. I insisted on obedience. We're going swimming now, because I'm the mom and your job as the child is to trust that I know what I'm doing and obey me. Your toenail feelings are irrelevant. If you sit down and refuse to move, I'm bigger than you, so I will gently but firmly move you.
Not this young mommy. She calmly sat there chatting with LG about how they only have a certain amount of time to be here, so the more time they spend in the locker room, the less time they have to swim. In about two minutes, LG decided she was now ready to swim, happily took Mommy's hand, and off they went.
My toddlers might have still been disgruntled and unhappy two minutes after my obedience lesson. I remember one instance where I battled 18-month-old Noah for an entire afternoon until he obeyed. I wonder how much differently it would have turned out if I would have let him examine his feelings about wanting to pick up his toys. I once dragged a kicking, screaming Sarah out of a store, because she had feelings about wanting something I had said no to. Maybe that young Mommy is doing it right. Well, too late for my kids now. They're already ruined. I did what I thought was best at the time.
