Thursday, June 25, 2009

Who Knew Parenting Was So Hard?!

Sarah and I went on a rollercoaster ride of emotions today. She and I, along with Noah and two neighbor girls, were enjoying a nice morning at the lake. We were playing in the sand, chasing minnows with our nets, and fishing. Noah caught a nice-looking bluegill and a big bass. The neighbor girl got her lure caught on the rope bordering the swimming area, so I was trying to free that without having to swim out there fully clothed. Meanwhile, with another pole, she hooked her sister's shirt, so I gave up on the lure and started working on the shirt.

While I was thus distracted, Sarah said, "Mom, can I go pee?" and I said yes. Several minutes later, all the hooks were secured and lines untangled, and I looked around to account for all the children. Sarah was missing. I started calling for her. No answer. I didn't panic, because I assumed she was doing something naughty and not in any danger. Nonetheless, I scanned the lake quickly for her bright pink shirt.

I told the other kids to stay at the beach but out of the water until I could go home and look for Sarah. I was sure that she had gone home, because she had been whining about wanting to go home most of the morning, but I had told her no. Sure enough, as I was walking toward home, there she was coming out of the house and walking back toward the lake. I was infuriated.

She had the nerve to call out, "Hi, Mom!" to which I hissed, "You get yourself down to the lake, pick up your toys, and get yourself back home while I'm thinking about your punishment, and it's going to be huge."

After everyone was back home again, Sarah went to her room and lay down on her bed. I went in and asked her if she knew why she was in trouble. She said she didn't. I told her to sit there and think about until she figured it out and then I would talk to her about it. Meanwhile I called Mike and told him the whole story and asked what he thought her punishment should be. We agreed that a huge punishment would be to not let her go to the neighbor girl's birthday party tonight.

After that conversation, I went back to check on her and found her sound asleep on her bed. Noah and I had lunch, and I had time to cool off and think (hmmm...maybe I should do that more often). I wondered why on earth she didn't know WHY she was in trouble. Usually when she does something wrong, she can tell me exactly what it was. This time she seemed genuinely clueless. Then I remembered that I had told her she could go pee, thinking she meant in the bushes by the lake, but I realized that she could have meant at home in the bathroom. So when I said yes, she thought she had permission to go home, and the next thing she knew, Mommy had turned into a big angry beast for no apparent reason.

When she woke up, I put her on my lap and asked her, calmly and rationally, why she had left the lake and gone home. She said, "I had to pee." Then she said with a quivering lip, "What is my punishment?" I explained that the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that she didn't do anything wrong and wasn't going to be punished, and we all lived happily ever after.

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