Yesterday, Noah learned in his biology book that there's a bacteria called euglena that uses light to create its own food. If no light is available, it will feed on dead organisms.
Today I was scolding Noah for leaving all the lights on in the basement. His defense was, "I didn't want the euglena to have to feed on dead organims." I said, "They'll be feeding on YOU if you don't go down there and turn the lights off." He then called me a parasite.