I'm assembling another "bar style" meal and thinking about the struggle of the last two and half years. Tonight it's a chili bar. First, I cook the celery, add diced tomatoes and kidney beans, and remove all that from the pot and keep it in a separate container, because Sarah won't eat chili that contains those objectionables. Then I cook onion, garlic, and peppers, and add crushed tomatoes and seasonings. This is the main base that everyone will eat. The worst part is cooking the nasty meat. I think about rainbows and unicorns while I do that in the microwave for the people who feel they can't live without meat. Also on the bar are: cooked rice, refried bean dip that I made a few days ago and thought it would make a nice addition to my bowl, and a bag of cheese that I threw on the bar while thinking again of pleasant things. We do a lot of bars anymore. It's how I survive in this family as the only vegan.
When I first realized that eating animals was completely unnecessary, I was relieved and happy and excited to tell other people that they too can be free of causing suffering. I naively didn't expect all the pushback. Not a single person was relieved and happy. Instead, they all went right on eating animals. I've thought a lot about why people do that. I think it comes down to some combination of three reasons:
1. They've always done it and can't conceive of not doing it.
2. They like the taste, and that's more important to them than the lives of animals.
3. They don't really believe that all their nutritional needs can be met by eating plants.
I'm no longer relieved and happy and excited, because living like this is terrible. I feel like I'm an inconvenience and annoyance to everyone.
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