Saturday, February 20, 2016

The struggle

I weighed 121 pounds when I got married 20 years ago.  I was in my 20's, and I ate whatever I wanted and was active enough to burn it off without even trying.  Then I turned 30, quit my job, and became a mom.  I was home all day with the kids and the food, and the weight didn't melt off as easily as it used to.  I gradually added 10 pounds without even noticing. In my early 40's, I gained and lost the same 10 pounds several times.  It was much harder to lose than ever before.

A year ago, I was in pretty good shape with a normal weight of about 135. Not ideal, but not overweight.  I was exercising regularly in preparation to do some awesome excursions when we went on a cruise with my family.  On March 22, I broke my arm, and thus began the downward spiral.  A few days later, we left for the cruise.  I couldn't do any of the awesome excursions with the rest of my family, so I sat on the ship and ate and ate and ate.  I ate my physical pain and my emotional discouragement.  I gained at least 5 pounds on the cruise, and when we got home, I just kept eating and doing absolutely no physical activity.  My arm hurt all the time, and the heavy wrist-to-shoulder cast threw off my balance.  I was afraid to do any activity, even walking.  After the cast came off and physical therapy was done, I realized my arm was never going to be the same as it used to be, and I got depressed.  So I ate. 

At some point, I made a conscious decision just to be fat and happy.  I have put on 25 pounds in the last 10 months. Most of my clothes don't fit anymore.  I'm fat, but I'm not happy.  I started exercising regularly again a few months ago, but it didn't make a dent in the fat, because I continued to eat whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted.

Last week I said enough is enough.  I refuse to be obese.  So I'm taking control of my eating.  In an effort to be released from my sugar addiction, I gave up bubble gum cold turkey.  I'm not giving up all sugar, but the gum was the obvious first thing to go. I was chewing about 20 pieces a day, just to get a sugar hit, and at 20 calories per piece, I was consuming an extra 400 calories a day.  I'm limiting my calories and continuing the exercise.  I've done well this week, but it's going to be a long road.

1 comment:

tami maciejewski said...

Thank you for sharing. I did not know your arm was so bad. I feel awful we were not there for you. It still bothers you today! Wow I am sorry.