The telltale tip

I made forty bucks today. Usually, when I spend money, it's for necessary things like groceries and gas, and I spent it very frugally. My husband never makes me feel like it's solely HIS money, even though he's the one who makes it, but I feel that way anyway. So today I decided to blow my very own income on a couple unnecessary, unfrugal things.

I bought a nice, luxurious bed for my spoiled cats. I saw it last week and wanted to buy it but couldn't justify spending the money. It's big enough for both of them, and it's so soft and cushy. They certainly don't need it, but I just wanted to do it for them. It makes me happy to see them all cozy.

And I took my kids out for lunch at our favorite place. I hardly ever undertip, because I've been a server before, and I know how hard it is and how meager the pay is. But the service was so remarkably bad today that I left a pretty small tip. I did it at the last possible second and then rushed the kids out of there, because I was ashamed to be leaving such a pitiful tip.

As we were hustling through the parking lot, I heard the server yelling at me. I glanced back and saw her chasing me! She was kind of a burly woman and could undoubtedly squash me like a bug. I started wondering what was going to happen to my poor innocent children, who didn't even know I left a small tip. I thought, "I should have just given her 20%, even though she got the order wrong, never came back to check on us, and I had to finally track her down to even get the check. Would a couple more bucks have been that much to ask? And now my children are going to see their mother assaulted in a parking lot..."

The whole time I was thinking this, I was shooing the kids into the van. I turned to accept my beating and saw that she had my box of leftovers in her hand. I had forced myself to save some food for tomorrow's lunch, but in my haste to escape, I had left it on the table. She panted, "You forgot your food!" I thanked her profusely and wished I had some cash so I could augment her tip, but I had charged the tip on my credit card and didn't have any cash.

The whole thing reminded me of Edgar Allen Poe's The Telltale Heart. Guilt is a powerful thing.