I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I want to be a kinder, gentler mom, who doesn't speak angry, critical words to my kids. When I hear them talking to each other in mean, impatient voices, I know it's because they've heard the same thing from me. I love being a mom, but sometimes I do more enduring than enjoying. Now that CBS is over for the summer, I started a new Bible study with myself called "The Power of Motherhood". It's so good and helpful. I started it yesterday, and today I made the no-turning-back decision to turn over that leaf. I was determined to guard my words and my tone of voice.
Things started out well. I looked at my children and smiled at them. I told them I was thankful for the privilege of being their mother. I went outside and played frisbee with them before school. When they messed up, I quietly and pleasantly corrected them. I noticed a difference in them after having been treated this way for only one morning, and I was encouraged (and convicted at the same time). I forget how powerful a mother's influence and attitude is on children and what a huge responsibility I have to influence them for good.
Sarah offered to go inside and make Noah a sandwich. I was basking in the sweetness of it, when she came running back outside, bleeding and saying, "I had an accident!" She told me that she had dropped my cheesecake on the floor. I asked her if my nice glass pie pan had broken, and she said no, and I was relieved. Then she added, "It just cracked a little bit into a few pieces. It didn't shatter all over like last time." When I came in the house, this was the scene I found:
She bandaged up her own foot (with toilet paper and string!) while I cleaned the mess. Of course the devil knew about my new leaf, so he started fighting back. Thankfully, I won this time and remained calm. I was even able to laugh, thanks to Noah. He followed me in, saw the mixture of cheesecake, glass, and blood on the floor, and said, "I'm sorry for your loss, Mom." He's been well-trained in sympathy by being dragged to too many funerals!