Friday, July 31, 2015

The best-laid plans of mice and moms

It was supposed to be a regular day involving math, spelling, reading, geography, with some extra cleaning thrown in.  We bought a nasty old couch, and I borrowed a Bissell shampooer from a neighbor friend and planned on cleaning that thing today while the kids were working on their lessons.  I started on it early to beat the heat and soon broke the attachment.  I confessed to the neighbor, apologized, and ordered a replacement part, which won't arrive for a week.  So instead of cleaning, we're learning the "making restitution" lesson. Again.
This is how poor Noah had to ride home from Creve Coeur with the couch.

On to reading.  I'm reading aloud a great book, and right in the middle of my sentence, Sarah tells me that she has a bump on her gums and it hurts.  She has hypochondriac tendencies, so I brushed her off with "You need to brush better and floss more" and was about to resume reading when she said, "Do you want to look at the bump?"  I didn't, of course, but I figured a good mother would probably at least look at it and give her a sympathetic pat on the head.  So I went over and looked at it.  Then I put the book down and went to get a flashlight.  Then I called the dentist (whose number I have memorized, for some strange reason). Usually I'm a drink-water-rest-and-keep-an-eye-on-it kind of mom for all medical issues, but this clearly called for a professional.  Plus it's Friday, and if we keep an eye on it too long, then we're paying emergency Saturday dentist fees.   As I was calling the dentist, I sighed and said, "Why can't my life just be normal?" and Noah said, "Because you chose to homeschool."  Does homeschooling somehow cause dental crises?

The dentist wanted to see her in 45 minutes, which gave me time to take a shower and get Noah to help me move the stinky couch out into the sun.  Just as I was asking him to help, his neighbor buddy knocked on the door, so I added, "Ben can help too. Then you guys can play while I take Sarah to the dentist."  Those good strong boys had the couch moved in no time, and I didn't even have to lift a finger!

On the way to the dentist, Sarah sat in the front seat next to me, because all the seats in the van were gone from moving the couch.  She said, "This reminds me of when Dad used to take me to Steak 'n Shake and I'd sit up front with him and drink milkshakes and talk about life.  We don't do that anymore, because now I know all about life."

I love our dentist.  He's a laid back guy, knows what he's doing, thinks conservatively with treatment, and consults me as a "mom expert".  He asked me what I thought it was, and I said an abscess.  He said, "I concur.  What's your treatment plan, Mom?"  I said antibiotics, and he gave me a high five and said he would xray it first, just to be sure.
Very interesting to see the shell of the baby tooth hovering over the permanent tooth.

 Then we were off to Kmart to get the prescription filled.  I was telling Sarah that I dislike that pharmacy, because they always ignore me.  I have to stand there dropping my keys on the counter for five minutes before they notice me.  She said, "You should yell, 'Ex-CUSE me!  I am a person! With feelings!'  That's what I do when people ignore me."  I stood there at the prescription window in full view of the multiple employees, and they all pretended I didn't exist, as usual.  I did the "oops, I keep dropping my keys" routine for a few minutes to no avail and was thinking about using Sarah's tactic when a brilliant idea came to me.  I pulled my fingernail clippers out of my purse and started loudly, annoyingly, clipping my nails.  I was literally only two clips in when a pharmacy employee appeared.  I'll remember that one for next time!
They told me it would be twenty minutes.  Why does it take twenty minutes to put the drugs in the bottle?  So I went to the blood pressure machine.  Mine was high. Probably from dropping keys and clipping nails.
While I was doing that, Sarah pointed accusingly at this bag and yelled, "You are ruining chocolate! It's supposed to have sugar!"
Then we went to the food section, because what else is there to look at in Kmart?  Look at this.  Reduced fat Triscuits.  And their serving suggestion is "Top with cottage cheese, peas, & mint."  Seriously?  The professional food photographer couldn't even make that look appetizing on the box!
Twenty minutes later, we're back at the pharmacy counter, being ignored. Again.  Fortunately a good song came on, so we danced violently in an attempt to get an employee to notice us.

Sarah convinced me to buy her an Icee because "my bump is so hot!" and I'm a pushover.  I bought one to take to Noah and one for Ben for helping move that couch.  He earned it even more when he had to open the childproof cap on the antibiotics, after I had tried for at least 30 seconds.

So the math books remain closed, the stinky couch sits on the driveway next to the broken down Bissell, and the day is more than half gone. This was not my plan.  But I believe things were learned in the classroom of real life.

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