Monday, August 31, 2015

Hillbilly daughter-in-law

My dear son has always had horrible table manners.  I thought it would get better as he got older, but so far, no.  Today he was sitting at the table shoveling huge spoonfuls of food into his mouth and onto his face, chewing with his mouth open, smacking his lips like a wolf.  I watched this disgusting display for awhile before I decided to take a different approach than my usual nagging/training.  I calmly said, "Noah, the kind of wife you're going to attract if you continue to eat like that is not the kind of daughter-in-law I'm hoping for.  You'll end up with a redneck hunchback hillbilly fool with no teeth, smacking her gums and screeching, 'Honey, I done fried us up some deeee-lish-us rat for supper! Y'all git in here and smear it on your face with me and gimme a big ole kiss!'"  He laughed and laughed and laughed.  I hope he got the point.

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