Contentment

After that last sad post, I decided it's finally time to try to put into words this one that's been on my mind since I had the realization this past summer.  I was driving around alone out in the boonies of this county, working one of those long, 10-hour days at my Census job, nothing to do but think, and I suddenly had the revelation: I'm happy.  No, that wasn't quite the word; I've always been happy.  It's content.  In my late 40's, I feel satisfied and truly content for perhaps the first time in my life.  I don't feel like I'm striving or struggling.  I love (and even still like) my husband, and our marriage feels stable.  One of our kids is a successful adult, and the other one is well on her way.  I don't worry about them.  I'm proud of how they're turning out and have great hope for their futures.  I feel like I know who I really am and what I believe.  I know some people don't like me, and even though I do wish everyone did, I don't let others' opinions of me change who I am.  I've found fulfilling work (not the Census, but my transcription/closed captioning job) that I enjoy.  I have friends and family that I adore.  I find pleasure in simple things, like swimming, or petting a cat, or holding a baby, or just being in nature.  I wanted to write this down so I remember this feeling at this time of my life.