Reprint

It has come to my attention that some people are not aware of the naked McDonald's incident referred to in the previous embarrassment post.  So here it is, from 2003.

I took Noah to Walmart in East Peoria, and he would not sit in the cart without crying, so I carried him around and pushed the cart with one hand.  I knew his diaper needed changing so I tried to get in the bathroom but the door was locked. I waited a few minutes and nobody came out, so I decided to just chane him on a bench outside McDonald's.  So I stood him up on this bench, and he played with the big Ronald McDonald statue while I pulled his pants down, unsnapped his onesie, and took his diaper off.  As soon as I took the diaper off, he peed all over his pants, socks, shoes, onesie, and Ronald McDonald.  So I had to take all his clothes off and put them in a plastic bag and throw the diaper away and wipe off Ronnie McD, who had pee dripping off his elbow.  While I'm doing all that, Noah takes off running into McDonald's, completely naked and screaming like a wild man.  I didn't even rush in to get him because I thought there's no way anyone's going to kidnap a naked screaming freak like that.  I had my hair in a ponytail and he had grabbed a fistful and pulled it out of the tail, so I had this big chunk of hair hanging in front of my face and I was all sweaty and nasty looking just from the effort of hauling him and all the stuff around.  McD's was very busy at the time and everyone was laughing.  I had stuff all over the place and was trying to gather it all up and cram Noah into a diaper and dry clothes while he's crying the whole time.