Friday, January 24, 2014

How many mints would a woodchuck mince if a woodchuck could mince mints?

Noah is studying South Africa in school.  Here's a convoluted conversation we had today.
N: Ostrich meat is less expensive than mints in South Africa.
M: Hmm. Mints must be pretty expensive there.
N: What is mints?
M (giving him the crooked eye): You know what mints are.  You know, like breath mints?  Peppermints? Spearmints? You know.
N: No, not mints, Mom.  Mints.
M: What? Who's on first?
N: What?  I just want to know what mince is!  (He shows me the word in the book).
M: Oh, mince.  I have no idea.  Jenny Thomas likes mincemeat pie, but that doesn't answer your question.

I google "mince" and am glad I did it myself instead of assigning him to do it, because the first thing I see is the urban dictionary's definition:  "To move or act in a way that implies homosexuality."  What?!  I have never heard that one before.  I go to the regular dictionary definition, which defines the verb as chopping into small pieces, which everyone knows.  Then it defines the noun as "something minced, esp. mincemeat."   Is that a helpful definition to anyone?  Not to me, so I look up mincemeat.

Wikipedia tells me that "Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits and spices, and sometimes beef suet, beef, or venison."  I read that definition to Noah.

N: So it's fruit, ghosts, spices, and meat? And they call that a pie?  And Jenny Thomas seriously likes it?
M: Ghosts?
N: Distilled spirits?
M: Oh, that's some kind of alcoholic beverage, I think.  I'm sure it's not ghosts.
N: Still, doesn't sounds like a very good pie to me.  
M: No, it sure doesn't.  And it doesn't explain the fact that ostrich meat is cheaper than mince. 

Further research reveals that "mince" apparently just means "hamburger" in South Africa  I'm friendly with a lady from South Africa who works at Papa Murphy's.  Next time I see her, I'm going to ask her about it.   

No comments: