Saturday, April 18, 2020

Day 33

My sister-in-law inspired me to rewrite the verses about the famous Proverbs 31 woman.

The Proverbs 31 Woman, corona-style:

Who can find a corona-free woman? For her price is far above rubies.

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of contaminated spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life, if he will only listen to her.

She seeketh toilet paper, and Clorox, and worketh willingly with her gloved hands.

She is like the Walmart trucks; she bringeth her food from afar and sanitizeth it.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth Beyond Beef to her household, and a portion to her quarantined maidens.
She considereth the back yard, and useth it: with the fruit of her gloved hands she planteth a garden.

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms through Zoom workouts, because the gyms are closed.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is disinfected: her candle goeth not out by night.

She layeth her hands to the laundry and her hands hold the zipper of her fleece pajamas.

She stretcheth out her gloved hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her gloved hands to the needy from 6 feet away.

She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with the aforementioned fleece pajamas.

She maketh herself coverings of flannel; her clothing is oversized and elastic.

Her husband is known at work, when he sitteth among the socially-distanced coworkers of the company.

She maketh fine face masks, and selleth them; and delivereth said face masks unto the merchant.

Strength and honour, and lo, fleece pajamas are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of cleanliness, if only people would listen.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not all the chocolate of the pantry.

Her children someday will arise up, and call her healthy; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

Many daughters have done cleanly, but thou excellest them all.

The media is deceitful, and haircuts are vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the washed fruit of her gloved hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

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